Luceo Magazine

Collecting: The Fast Road to Bankruptcy

Hobbies are wonderful. They can relax us, excite us, and sometimes, they can even give you a feeling of pride or accomplishment. There is, however, a dark and sinister side to hobbies as well. The universe is governed by the aspect that for every good and positive item that exists, there is an evil and negative item to counter-balance it. This applies to everything. For example, for every wonderful dining experience you have, there is a dining experience where the chef spits in your food. You may not be aware of the spitting chef, but I can guarantee he did it. For every new Lexus you see on the road, chances are you see a jalopy on the rode that same day. A system of cosmic checks and balances keeps all in the universe at an even level. Nothing tangible or intangible is safe from the grasp of balance. Sadly, it also applies to hobbies.

I have a hobby. My hobby is The Transformers. I have been collecting them for a while now, so believe me when I tell you I am an expert on how to properly collect things. The following is a short but effective, comprehensive guide on how to collect properly, have a fun time doing it, and not get so addicted that you sell other personal artifacts to obtain a Toys R Us Generation 1 reissue of Powermaster Optimus Prime.

Step 1: Choosing.

There are thousands of things that one can collect. The first thing you need to do before you attempt any collecting is assessing your financial situation. If you make minimum wage, you may want to stay away from Fabergé eggs. Just one of those puppies costs more than you will probably make this whole year. How much you love something will ultimately determine how expensive collecting will be. This is where the universal checks and balances come in. I am obsessed with The Transformers; therefore, I have the compulsion to buy anything with an Autobot or Decepticon symbol stamped on it, leaving me poor all the time. I suggest you pick something that pleases you, but something that will not drive you mad if you can’t get it. When I first started collecting The Transformers, I simply thought I would buy some action figures and maybe a poster or two. HA! Little did I know that there were also statues and busts roaming around. There were DVDs, video games, board games, transformable Lego sets, comic books, and vehicle floor mats. You heard me right—floor mats. I have Optimus Prime adorning the floorboard of my truck as we speak.

Step 2: Purchasing

Purchasing is what makes collecting so fun. The feeling you get when you buy something new to add to your growing collection will give you a feeling of pride and awe. That feeling is addictive. It’s like a drug. If you get too much of it, you’ll end where I am: broke and ever-obsessing when and where you will get your next fix. In fact, I am thinking about it right now. If you find that the stores in your area have run out of whatever you collect, take a road trip—especially if you live in a small town. Tyler is not that small of a city, but it pales in comparison to the big city of Dallas. I can always go to Dallas and find something new and interesting to add to my collection. When it comes to collecting things that aren’t so commonplace, the Internet can be your best friend. The majority of my Transformers statues and busts have been found and ordered from the Internet. EBay is also wonderful. Where else could I find an original Generation 1 set of the 6 Constructicons that form Devastator? Nowhere, that’s where! If you collect more down to Earth items, such as sculptures or wind chimes, consignment shops are a gold mine and are relatively inexpensive. My mother collects porcelain dolls and she has found many a rare doll at places such as Importer’s Outlet and Puff’s 12-Dollar Zoo.

Step 3: Enjoying

After selecting your collectible and purchasing it, you need to sit back and bask in it. I have always been an advocate for proper display of anything collectible, be it shelves or glass cases. One of the many joys of collecting is when you have a visitor over, they step into whatever room contains your collectibles, and you get to see that expression of awe that comes to their face. That is cause for massive swells of pride. I love to see a guest’s jaw drop when they gaze upon my statue of Unicron or my all-Optimus shelf. It’s really what makes the whole collecting experience worth all the pain and mental anguish and financial destitution.

Overall, collecting is an experience all its own. If you follow the preceding three easy steps, you can be on your way to collecting and enjoying it in no time.

Brian | July 21, 2003

Copyright © 2008 Luceo Magazine