Luceo Magazine

Stupid People’s Report #2

If you checked out the previous issue of Luceo, you may have read the first installment of this feature. Since our Entertainment Editor, Brian, is busy getting ready to go back to school, I am writing this month’s in his stead.

Chad Lennon
February 2003
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There are quite a few people out there that lack fully-functioning brains, are there not? No, I am not talking about the mentally disabled, but rather your everyday common idiot.

I have been working in retail for something like five years now and there is no end to the stupidity that I continue to witness everyday. I have worked for Michaels, “the Arts & Crafts Store” for these five years and have recently been promoted to an art department manager, which forced me to move. But enough about that nonsense, let us bring on the stupid.

People complain about everything. You know what I am talking about: they see that you do not have something in stock and they commence with the endless whining about it. They ask if you have any in the back, up top, when it is going to come in, and if your answer is anything other than yes, you had better prepare to be yelled at. People cuss me out all the time because we are out of their precious little scrapbooking thing. These people are psychotic—scrapbooking to them is not just a mere hobby, it is their life’s work. I then have to contend with all of the parents that come in for supplies from anything varying from Boy Scouts to the ever-dreaded science fair. You know what, woman, you are not the only parent who came here looking for project boards. Do not even start whining to me because you waited until the last minute and the thousand parents before you beat you to the goods!

Unfortunately, I must be better behaved than I had to as a regular Sales Associate at my old store; that is where the fun was.

When I worked at my old store, I served up an attitude with a smile; if you wanted to start something with me, I would gladly send it back your way. The aforementioned Brian, who also has some Michaels experience under his belt, has a favorite Chad moment at our store and I present it here for your enjoyment:

A woman wanders into the store and finds me, proceeding to ask me where some merchandise is. I tell her and she comes back and asks where something else is located so I tell her where that is. She does this 12 times with me giving her the correct answer every time. Then she pops the dreaded question #13. (I implore you to keep in mind that this is an arts and crafts store.)

Customer: “Do you have any animal bedding?”
Me: “No ma’am we don’t; you can pick some up at the Petland next door to us.”
Customer: “Well surely you do.”
Me: [Mimicking her voice] “Well surely we don’t.” (spoken with a big smile)

Well after that, her jaw dropped. I guess she was shocked at my outright mockery of her; she just shook her head and wandered away, the same way she first came up to me. Now you may think that I am a jerk, but if you were 12 for 12, you would think that someone would give you enough credit that you could land the 13th question, but no! All of a sudden, some whiny woman is going to doubt you—you might be a little angry about it. Now since I am a male, everyone doubts my intelligence. Thankfully, some of that has come to an abrupt halt since my promotion.

Customer: Do you have [insert any item that it would be ludicrous for a craft store to carry]?
Me: No ma’am* we sure don’t.
Customer: Could I maybe ask your manager? (Looks at my nametag with my Art Department Manager title on it)
Customer: Oh, you are the manager ... sorry.
Me: [In my head] Tune changer!

Well that is all for this issue, just remember that the next time you try to belittle someone, it may come back at you. Stay tuned for the next amazing issue with the return of our Entertainment Editor Brian!

*I would like to point out that is always women who complain, etc. Males will never make a scene and are generally complacent with anything you tell them

Also read the related article: Working Retail During the Holidays

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