Luceo Magazine

The Florida Internet Debacle

Kirk Lennon Kirk Lennon
September 19, 2002
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When we first purchased our computer, in the technological Dark Ages of summer 1999, we trapped ourselves into a year-long commitment with third-rate ISP Prodigy to save some money. I will never forget that nightmare. When I pressed “connect” I honestly had no expectations of getting online for at least five minutes. I knew it would fail again and again before I finally got on. Even then, it was a race against the clock with constant fear that I would lose my connection.

At the first possible moment, we signed up for EarthLink. They charged only $19.95 per month and had much better service. Still, it was a hefty amount of money to pay. My parents decided that they would no longer pay for our internet service so my brother and I hastened to find a new ISP once EarthLink announced they were increasing rates to $21.95.

After some searching, we happened upon SurfBest, which charges the incredibly low rate of $12.50 a month. Though a little leery, we signed up anyway and it was great. The service was just as good as EarthLink’s and yet it cost far less. We were actually connecting regularly at 28k (which is the best we can get on our horrible phone lines), as opposed to the 26k we usually received from EarthLink. Sadly, however, those blazing 28k speeds became increasingly less frequent. Still, 26k is the best our money can buy.

In June, our father kept mentioning Everyone’s Internet, which was only $10 a month. Intrigued, I visited their site only to discover that they charged a large sign-up fee. It should have ended there, but now I was determined to find a cheaper ISP. One day in early July while reading my emails, some spam caught my eye. Contained in it was an offer for $6.95 a month unlimited internet access! I didn’t know you could offer service that cheap (AOL must be making huge profits on their service).

My better judgment would have told me to ignore the offer since no respectable business spams potential customers. In spite of this, I was blinded by the allure of saving so much money.

We signed up the next evening and were immediately able to get online with our 695online internet service. Chad called them a “one-trick pony,” but I just like to think they are focused. The downside was that we had to pay the first three months in advance and there was a $5 set-up fee—ostensibly for the set-up disk they send to you (which we did not need anyway).

It worked fine for the next few days and so I sent an email to SurfBest canceling our service. Apparently we already paid for most of July already and were consequently still able to connect for a couple of weeks after the cancellation request. After the first few days, however, tragedy struck. Every time we tried to connect to 695online, we received and error stating that our “username and/or password is invalid on the domain.” Cryptic though it was, we knew it had to be wrong since we had not changed our settings. Thankfully we were able to still use SurfBest.

I thought the problem might resolve itself in a few days, but it did not and something had to be done. On their website (and otherwise useless installation disk) they gave their phone number and address. Located in Florida, our ultra-low budget ISP did not have an 800 number. Essentially, we had to pay to call somebody to ask them why the service we were paying for did not work; that just makes me mad. Thankfully, I had an AT&T phone card with some unused minutes on it and after dialing the 30+ numbers it requires, I handed the phone off to Chad (it was on his credit card, after all, and I do not like to call businesses).

The people claimed that they were in the middle of changing networks and that everything should be working again within the next few days. It didn’t.

Eventually, SurfBest finally canceled our service and we were left without a working ISP! The first few days were okay, almost liberating even. Then, the pressure built up. Oh how I needed to get online. My inbox was doubtless overflowing with offers of debt consolidation and pictures of “Tina’s” birthday slumber party with all her young friends. I was missing out on opportunities for free Viagra and pictures of raging hot animal lovers going to the extreme! I was also missing out on my legitimate email.

Being the genius that I am, I realized I could simply use the internet at school. I’ve never actually used the computers in the library but I decided to be brave. In a miraculous occurrence, some girl was going to use the computers at the same moment I was! I simply followed her in and using my amazing powers of mimicry, repeated her actions. Like an old pro, I never even said a word to the people who took my student ID and gave me a numbered piece of paper that corresponded with the numbered computers. To the casual onlooker, I might have gone in there daily. I was so proud of myself.

I was able to delete some spam and get my inbox down to something more manageable. During my time without internet access, I also went to a friends house for the same purposes as my library visit. The library, however, exhibited fairly new computers with sleek, flat LCD monitors that make me so jealous. I need a new computer so badly. One day I was in BestBuy and I decided to just look at their computers. I was drooling over a Sony Vaio when I noticed a glowing bar on it. I barely touched the thing and the computer turned off (very quickly I might add). Oops. I pressed the button again and what seemed like no time everything was back to like it had been before I turned it off. On our computer, turning it off truly means turning it off and it will not turn back on for at least half an hour. The Vaio recovered from an “improper shutdown” without so much as a warning. Then again, the processor is four times as fast as ours and the hard drive works much faster too. Still, it was amazingly fast.

Anyway, Chad finally caved in and decided to use a free AOL trial while we sorted out our connection issues. I warned him against it but he refused to listen. We would log on to AOL (which always took exactly two attempts), minimize it and open up a real browser but it was still a RAM whore. Oddly, whenever we would disconnect, it would insist on downloading updates. The thing updated itself every single time we would try to get off. Either it needs updating or it doesn’t; why update every time?

In any case, the thing worked. Eventually, we gave up on 695online. Deciding our mother was more menacing on the phone, we talked her into calling those people (again with my phone card) and demanding our money back. She called and they gave it back. They told her that they too were being told service should be back within a couple of days by the new network but it just wasn’t happening.

And so ends our Florida internet debacle (we live in Texas, by the way). Tails tucked between our legs, we came crawling back to SurfBest. The drama, though mostly over, did not end then.

I filled out the form on their website to sign up and waited for a confirmation. It nevercame. I emailed them and in their reply they asked me if I was sure I signed up at surfbest.net and not some other service. What kind of idiots do they have to deal with if that is part of their standard reply? Anyway, after a few emails back and forth, I found out they had been having some problems with the sign-up page (it is apparently outsourced) and I filled out the lengthy form again.

At last, I received my confirmation notice and was online with SurfBest. A couple of weeks ago, Chad finally got around to canceling our AOL trial. Then, he finally uninstalled it a few days ago. Since that time, many of the programs on our computer have stopped functioning correctly. Neither Windows Messenger nor MSN Explorer will sign in. Internet Explorer will no longer let you open a link in a new window (shortcut: hold shift and click on the link). The saboteurs at AOL have clearly decided that if they can’t have you, no one can. They maliciously destroyed parts of our beloved programs. Well, that or some needed files and settings were accidentally altered in the uninstallation process. I like to think the former because I really do not like AOL.

I am currently in the process of downloading and re-installing the wounded programs. It is my hope that this will alleviate the problem but I lack total confidence. If this still fails, my only other option is to burn all my files to CDs, format the hard drive and start over again. While it would be nice to get rid of some of the junk on this archaic machine, the prospect of installing Windows and all of those programs again is practically lethal.

The moral of the story is this: if you must use dial-up internet service, use SurfBest. Never, under any circumstances use 695online. Or, more generally, buyer beware.

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