This is the first in a series of lists. Enjoy.
- Trying to catch scissors in your mouth
- Gluing your lips together
- Sending threatening messages to the president
- Pearl Harbor II: Onward to Korea!
- Frosted Flakes: now with free ninja kit, complete with two throwing stars
- Telling your wife what you really think of her mother
- Cybernetic ass implants with auto-jiggle
- Breaking up with someone by changing your MySpace relationship status (true story!)
- Revolving toothbrush holder
- Midget/Elephantitis porn
- Nuclear go-cart
- Gold-miner’s milk: now with potassium cyanide
- Keep out Old Man Winter with an Old Navy Asbestos pullover!
- Pearl Harbor III: Peace in the Middle East